大家都来围观围观下我刚修改的回复邮件内容感

wolei526974930：大家都来围观围观下我刚修改的回复邮件内容感觉好长啊
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Iker.chen：太长了废话很多我要是客户没耐心看完

kellyzheng1991：
长的原因是你的短句太多。

wolei526974930：
该从哪方面“瘦身”呢？请指教

wolei526974930：
我刚修改过了。看下还有那些地方能修改的吗？
Hi Estella Salem
Thanks for your inquiry.
Enclosed the quotation, please have a check. please let me know If you can't open it.
We are Printing factory, can print full body like: shoulder, front side and back side.
100% cotton t-shirt. Printing method is Silk screen and never rub off.
We have stock: like T-shirt, hoodies, Canvas bag. For the stocks, You can pay via AliExpress, It's more convenience and protect to buyers,You also can pay via Paypal, Western union. Bank payment.
Shipping of stocks, It can be sent to you within1-3days when you pay, it's very fast.
We have good quality, competitive price and best service: 24hours reply.

wolei526974930：
多谢，这和我英语水平有关了，英语水平差

饿死狗日的诗人：If you can't open it, please let me know.
We have bought New printing Machine, can print full body like: shoulder, front side and back side.
this kind of printing method never rub off.
For the stocks, You can pay via AliExpress, this way is more convenience and protect buyers,You also can pay via Paypal, Western union. Bank payment.
For the stocks,It can be sent to you within1-3days when you pay, it's very fast.
---------------------------------------------
解释太多，感觉以上都是非必要解释，这些解释更倾向于常识。个人观点

life旷逸：太多主动语态了，楼上所说，短句太多，多用被动语态。有空学学怎么写邮件，外贸路有很多牛人的分享，我帮你改了改，也让大家来点评我改的不好的地方。
主题：08-10-2014 RE: MR./MS. Estella Salem custom print shirt you want cooperate with us
Hello MR./MS. Estella Salem
This is ### from ###, nice day.
we are printing factory offer you custom print as you like, efficient new printing machine provide you high quality and competitive price
there is a quotation send to you, please chick it, 24 hours waiting your reply
best regards
###
由于不知道你主要是做t-shirt还是printing，所以找不到回复重点，差不多看看吧，欢迎大家批评指正。

liuwen2010：我按你的修改了下：
Hi Estella Salem
Thanks for your inquiry
Please check enclosed quotation of Bob Marley design t-shirt.
We are printing factory with new printing machine which can print full body, such as shoulder, front side and back side.
All t-shirt is 100% cotton with silk screen printing method which never rub off.
There are some stock like T-shirt, hoodies, Canvas bag, it can be fast and convenient to delivery after receiving payment(about 3days),
Paypal, AliExpress, Western union are available.
We have good quality, competitive price and best service: 24hours reply.

happy-1226：
我只能说这样子的邮件，看前面两三行后就不会再想往下看了。

qdNick：
感觉这个改的不错

志安王连静：哈哈，学习了！

life旷逸：
谢谢夸奖，新人请指教。