FORBOYSWhyNiceGuys

zhucunshuang：FOR BOYS :Why Nice Guys Finish Last?
Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.
First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.It works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.
Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value.. it's human nature.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything --his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

susana_luo：OH MY, SO LONG...

zhucunshuang：but it's not difficult to unferstand :P

wy5825566：year! I can't read it understand ! There are many words know me ,but i don't know them!

zhucunshuang：I think it is suitable for English learners, whatis your idea?

ellen_20071224：
:P :P

angela.li：sweat!:L :L

lonelyme：原创的么？！！！

zhucunshuang：不是啊，转来的 呵呵

fobforme：From Yahoo Features?

janewalter：英语jjww一堆，意思就是男人不坏，女人不爱，还是汉语精辟！

garylian：NICE!!!!!!!!

zhucunshuang：
yeah, from Yahoo features

guoxiang：OH MY GOD,IT IS SO LONG

adai_100：i see!!!

russ：如果我早点读你这个帖子就好了..

摆造型：摆造型来了
Good words!
I think I was one of the Mr. Nice Guy, but not any more in the future.
Mr. Nice Guy always gets pain.
"Nice" is not a good idea to attract girls. Girls like to date with "bad guy"
So, try to be a litte bad, then more girls.

ceohuapeng：哎可惜是转载的，好经典哦

nickzhu0317：I wanna be a bad guy from now on!

寂寞向前：很有启发啊！
---What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
---More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.
写的好！

cindyyen：
还是这位仁兄来的精辟！

yuguo125：这么长 肯本没耐心看

jackwang1999：
各位，能说汉语吗？:Q :Q

GongLijie：so long a article! I have read it completely.So tired to read :P

xugz_666：好象不错的说

zhucunshuang：谢谢各位捧场
呵呵，我也是觉得不错才转过来的，就是想和大家分享一下。其实这也是很好的阅读材料啊，希望大家能找个时间品品这篇小文，也就不枉兄弟一番心意了

lin812345：ＯＨ，　　ＩＴ　　ＩＳ　　ＶＥＲＹ　　ＧＯＯＤ