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对公司其他同事一些关于开发信的点评jaesy

jaesy：对公司其他同事一些关于开发信的点评
jaesy:
Hi xxx,

How are you?

Attached please find bags for your reference, we launch some cheap price bags recently.

These bags are make with semi-PU,but still in good quality.And these bags are our hot sale models.

If you are interested in it,or these bags are meet your target,please let me know.

Looking forward to your reply

Thanks
Best regards,
jerry
这是Jerry针对最新那份半PU写的开发信,大家看看.有没有发现什么问题?
Rachel:
内容不够吸引力
而且，既然是cheap price，价位大概是多少？
还有，不够简明扼要
读起来比较啰嗦
Jaesy:
jenny,seven,要不你们俩也写一封针对推广这些价格低一点的开发信发上来分享一下?
Jerry:
嗯嗯，让我学习学习
Jaesy:
我现在发了一下阿君提出对Jerry的上面那封邮件的评论. (we launch some cheap price bags recently.

These bags are make with semi-PU,but still in good quality.And these bags are our hot sale models.
、、
这样的给客户感觉这些款式的质量很次)
其实这些都是出在一两个单词. 首先with semi-PU, 再用转折词but 和 still,整个句子出来的意思就是让客户觉得质量很次的意思.
Jaesy
还有,Jerry写邮件,必须考虑一下,你一封邮件回复过去,客人有可能怎么回复,那么你能如何在客人可能性的回复中就想好你该怎么去应对.
Jaesy
有些时候,其实说是the best price, 或者是hot sale models不一定是好事.会把自己堵死了. 有些报价本来就有浮动的余地的,你就已经说了最好的价格了,下一封,客人还有向你讨价还价的兴趣吗,直接把你过滤掉啦.
How are you?
I am Jerry, colleague of Jeasy from YIYI LEATHER CO.,LTD. From now on, I will follow your orders with Jeasy, thanks for your support in advance.
After discussion by yesterday, we re-quoted prices based on the modification and new materials, and revised to PI, please find attached for your reference.
To give you the best prices, we re-calculated cost carefully, hope these prices are acceptable for you.
Any queries please feel free to let me know.
Jaesy
像这封是Jerry写给泰国客人的第一封邮件,并且附上了PI. 但是我修改了.
hello, XXX,
May i call you XXX?
I am Jerry, colleague of Jeasy from YIYI LEATHER CO.,LTD. From now on, I will follow your orders with Jeasy, thanks for your support in advance.
After discussion by yesterday, we re-quoted prices based on the modification and new materials, and revised to PI, please find attached for your reference.
in this PI, we have not quoted the price For the Celine bag. after discussed with our professional technic person, they said that it needs to develop a metal molds inside to make this bag like a hard evenning bag, it is not our main products, in order to keep our service and our products in good quality, we do not want to take a risk to make this bag in defective quality. i hope that you will understand our kind and honest.honestly speaking, before writing this email, we tried to find a suitable cooperative factory to make it, however they request minimum quantity 200pcs each color. so we finally decided to tell you all in true. i believe that you will like our integrity.
anyway, if anything you still have doubt, freely to let us know.we would try our best to meet all your need.
by the way, in next email, i would send you a update price for your bag.
best wishes
jerry
Jaesy:
当然我写的有点啰嗦.我性格问题. 这个是我缺点.但是呢,我直接把"To give you the best prices, we re-calculated cost carefully, hope these prices are acceptable for you."这个句子去掉了.
Jaesy
很多时候写邮件,请给自己留有余地.已经考虑多几步.至于这封推广的开发信,每个人有不同的写作风格,你们各自写,但是需要我修改一下,可以发来给我看看.
(希望大家还有什么意见,拍砖吧!)